Choosing A Guardian For Your Minor Children

Who should raise your children if you or your spouse are not able to?

This is a difficult question even to contemplate, let alone answer. But if you have children under age 18, your estate plan most certainly should address their future care and well-being.

Without this, a court will decide – and a court’s decision might not be the same as yours. It might not even be in the best interests of your children.

Here are the most critical factors to consider when choosing a guardian for your minor children. One of these factors may rise to the top as the most important to consider.

Consider discussing these factors below with your prospective guardian - this will allow time for questions and deeper answers:

• Interests/Activities - Do your prospective guardian(s) share your child(ren)’s interests and/or hobbies and activities? If not, can they provide support by registering, transporting, and attending your child(ren)’s activities and interests? Also consider which talents or interests your prospective guardian(s) could share with your child(ren) to enrich their lives even further.

• Schedules & Routines - Is your prospective guardian aware of your child(ren)’s schedules and routines and the costs necessary to support them? When the time is right, consider sharing this information for full disclosure. Consider the demands of your prospective guardian(s)’ schedules, too.

• Values - Does your prospective guardian share your values? What hopes and dreams do they have for your child(ren) now? What life lessons do you imagine your prospective guardian(s) will teach your child(ren) through their own behavior? Those may be different than yours but just as valuable.

• Communication - What is your prospective guardian’s communication style? Similar to yours or not? How is the communication between your child(ren) and your prospective guardian now? Consider allowing your child(ren) to engage with your prospective guardian(s) on a more regular basis so they have that relationship and connection established?

• Discipline - Are you comfortable with how your prospective guardian(s) may discipline your child(ren)? How will your child(ren)’s behavior interact with your prospective guardian(s) and/or their family? Conflict is natural and cannot be avoided. But how it is dealt with is important to discuss. Share how you handle your child(ren)’s conflicts and emotional outbursts and how you approach discipline. As you talk, be open to input and other approaches.

• Effort - Can your prospective guardian(s) handle the role physically? Consider the physical effort needed now to support your child(ren) and the health needs of your prospective guardian(s).

• Time - Consider whether your prospective guardian(s) already have child(ren). If so, will they be able to make enough time to adequately care for and look after your child(ren)? Is there already a commitment to being a prospective guardian to other child(ren)? Time constraints are real so knowing those upfront can help you make a decision on who is best able to care for your child(ren).

• Location - Where does your prospective guardian(s) live? Would that be a good fit for your children? Would having to move far away exacerbate an already stressful situation for your child(ren)?

• Finances - Can your prospective guardian(s) manage the financial responsibility if you cannot provide enough assets to support the raising of your child(ren)? What do you anticipate for the future financial needs of your child(ren)? Have you already put that money aside or accounted for it in your estate plan? If not, be upfront about the potential costs to your prospective guardian(s).

• More than One Guardian for Financial vs. Physical Support - Should you choose one person to act as personal guardian and another to manage the financial arrangements for your children—that is, name a second person to act as Custodian or Trustee? In certain situations, such as when the best surrogate parent for your children is not necessarily the best person to handle financial matters, this option is worth considering.

• Same Guardian or Different for Some? - Is it essential that your child(ren) have the same guardian? Most parents say yes, but in some circumstances, such as when your children are of significantly different ages, or have significantly different needs, naming more than one guardian is an option.

• Preferences of Child(ren) - Are you having trouble deciding between several loved ones who have expressed interest in acting as guardians? If your children are old enough, consider asking their opinion on whom they’d prefer. Allowing your children to have a say in choosing their guardian might make that difficult transition a bit easier. When discussing this topic, assure your children the odds are low that anything bad will happen to you, but on the off-chance that it did, you want to ensure they remain protected and happy under all circumstances.

Share your concerns and any areas of indecision with your estate planning attorney. It is rare to find a prospective guardian that can manage everything perfectly. In having conversations, you will discover the most important factors to consider for you and your child(ren)’s welfare.

At Salter Law LLC, our attorney, David P. Salter, with his 25 years of estate planning experience and insight, has assisted many families struggling with this same decision. We welcome the opportunity to help you select the ideal guardian for your children by discussing these critical factors in an estate planning meeting. Learn more about our planning process or contact us to schedule an appointment.

Disclaimer: The above article should not be construed as legal advice for your situation. Please contact us to discuss the specifics of your case in order to determine which aspects of this article pertain to your life circumstances and estate planning needs.